Archive for Rambles

Mom cold Vs. Man cold

Mom cold- Cooks dinner for the whole family

Man cold- Wants someone to cook him dinner.

Mom cold- Plays and takes care of kids

Man cold- Sleeps on the couch

Mom cold- Cleans house

Man cold- Lays on couch while mom cleans

Mom cold- Has sex with husband even though she is very sick

Man cold- says he’s to sick to have sex

Mom cold- Waits a week to see a doctor

Man cold- Goes to doctor at the first sniffle

 

Why do men always have to think they’re sicker than they really are?

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The curse of Twilight

 

I may not be the only one who has been ruined by Stephanie Myers and the Twilight series. Some of my friends are having a hard time reading other books and finding them enjoyable. I too am having the same problem. Damnit Myers! Why did you have to make Edward Cullen so sparkly and pale? Oh god, what I could do to Edward if I had 24 hours with that vampire! Hell, I’d take 20 minutes with him! He can break my headboard and un-stuff my pillows anytime!

I mean seriously, I have probably read 30 books since August. To name a few: Multiple Blessings, Things I’ve Learned About My Father In Therapy, Rockabye (the closest I’ve come to a great book since Twilight) and many more that I can’t think of because they now seem mediocre.

I lay in bed, bored at night, because Twilight has ruined my reading life not to mention sex life (just kidding Hon!). And now the book world has nothing to offer me. Nothing, NOTHING!!! This is why I’m declaring that there is a “Twilight curse”. My head can spin so many stories for the 5th book of that saga, but Myers can’t seem to get it together to write a 5th book. She wants to spend time with her family, well I say “You have a ton of money record the book, and have someone else write it.”. If she doesn’t get on the ball and start writing I might just have to start my own book!

Why did she have to create Edward and then not have enough of him to satisfy my reading needs? Why did she have to make a love story so good that I need to find some sort of rehab to go to just to get those books out of my mind? Could I be the only one feeling like this? Are there others that are dealing with this curse as well?

The feeling of emptiness has made me wish that I’d never read the books to begin with. If I could just be stronger, and not need those vampires so much. Oh, how I wish that I could be a vampire. I want to live in Forks, WA. I want pale skins and red eyes and stone cold skin. I want to be a vampire!!!

Today suuuucks…

Have you ever herd your kids call your name in the middle of the night and just ignored their calls? Well, that’s what I did at 5:20 am this morning, and I wish I hadn’t!

Aidan: “MAMA”

Me: (In my head) Ignore him.

Aidan: “MAMA, MAMA, MAMA”

Me: Still not going to answer him.

Aidan starts making spitting and choking sounds. So Chris gets up.

Aidan: “Daddy, I barf.”

Chris: “I see that.”

We get him cleaned up. Not 20 minutes later he throws up all over his bedroom floor, so I get that mess all cleaned up. Chris goes and gets him a pan to puke “in just in case“. Guess what? Aidan’s scared of the pan. Wanna know why? It’s black! WTF? He loves black women, but not black pans? He doesn’t mind that I cook in it, but he doesn’t want it in his bed.

Needless to say. It’s only 11:39am, and I feel like I’ve been thrown the ringer.

Side note~ Aidan asked for Mac n’ Cheese for dinner last night. Once I made it he didn’t want it anymore. So I made him sit there and eat half of it. I will NEVER ever make my kids eat if they don’t want to ever again… I know that me making him eat that Mac n’ Cheese is what made him sick. I am so mad at myself for doing that to him.

Good underwear are hard to come by.

Am I right about this lady’s? To me its hard to find underwear that don’t “ride” when I walk. I’m a simple girl, with pretty simple panty expectations. In high school, and for a few years after I graduated I only wore thongs. Yes, to me it did matter what guys saw when I bent over. Just that little bit of string was enough to drive there imaginations crazy. Plus there was that song Sysco sang, “That thong, th, th, th, thoooonnnnnngg!” (The Thong Song). I have to admit that song was the reason I started wearing them in the first place!

When I started to work for Wells Fargo in 2004 I stopped wearing them cause I felt weird having such sexy underwear on, and being dressing up so business like. So now I am a Hanes girl! I just couldn’t go back to the thong after having to kids climb out of my “down under”. I have noticed that it takes me buying a couple packs to find one good pair. It’s almost like a conspiracy with the underwear makers. They need to sell more, to make lots of money. And lets face it. You don’t really have to buy them that often. So in return they put millions of duddy underwear out on the shelves so that we buy them, only to realize that they are so uncomfortable that we have to go get new pack to see if those ones will fit any better.

The only reason I’m even bringing this up is cause tonight after I got out of the shower I had to try two different pairs on before I found a pair that felt right. And guess what? The pair that I have on I had before Aidan was even born. They were bright pink, but now their a dull pink color. There is holes all over them, but they don’t give me wedgies, so I don’t care!

Oh lord, don’t even get me started on a good fitting bra!

Have any of you experience these problems, or anything like them?

 

A little of this, a little of that, and stuff like that.

I have a ton of things running through my mind right now, so I’m just going to ramble tonight! YA!!! I know very exciting!

First off, I joined NaBloPoMo! That means 30 blogs in 30 days! Its going to be a challenge, but I know I can do it!

Second. It’s stinkin cold outside right now… It’s 47* out right now, and it feels like -30* to me. I’m such a wimp when it comes to cold weather. How do the people who live where it snows survive? They all deserve a trophy for handling the snow! Ugh, just thinking of snow makes me shiver.

Third. My kids are acting like assholes. Don’t call CPS. You all know you’ve seen a kid or two act that way too! We have been super busy the past week. So between being tired and only eating cookies (seems like everyone thinks thats what you hand a crying kid.), they are little terrors. I can’t wait for the holidays to be over! It’s sad that I feel this way. But to me its more important to be on a schedule and be eating healthy, than to run around to see everyone in a week and eat nothing but junk.

Forth. My freaking cat Monkey… Ok, so maybe its just my cat? But Monkey like to be in the bath tub when I shower, he doesn’t mind baths at all. Actually he gets one every Sunday night!  He like when I brush and trim his nails. He like a person! Here’s the cheery on the Sunday! He sleeps on my chest at night, if he isn’t on top of me he’s on my pillow. And he hates, I mean hates when Chris try’s to snuggles me or try’s to kiss me. 

And fifth, five, I plead the fifth. Im thinking about taking a creative writing class! Which is a big step for me. I hate leaving the house. I really don’t like to be out where there are a lots of people sharing a common area. Because that means there are germs, lots and lots of germs. God I hate germs! But I know that I really need to take it if I want to be a good blogger. One of my life goals is to write a book, so yeah. I need this class, and probably some english classes as well.

Sixth. T, can I fly you out here for a week? You have been such a godsend to me with this whole blogging project I’ve taken on! I need you to teach me all your bloggy tricks. All go buy all the tater tots you and Tater can handle! Plus Monkeys litter box isn’t in the bathroom so you can take a good smelling bath!

I think thats all I have to say for today! If you have any questions for me, please just ask! It will probably help me out a lot, seeing that I have to do 30 in 30!